I found my soulmate but he won't answer my stupid email

I may have led you to believe that during my epidsode of insomnia a few nights ago all i did was think about burritoville. not the case. in fact i thought about burritoville and how pathetic it is that i have nothing better to think about than burritoville because i haven't kissed a boy in so long and haven't even had reason to shave my legs in even longer. so i thought to myself, "i bet craigslist is a good place to find a dude." I feel like in a couple months when i'm beating back the suitors with a stick I'll giggle at the fact that I once (maybe twice) went on the craigslist m4w section and answered an ad in earnest. I just felt like this ad was posted exactly for me and you'll see why when you read it. It's prob going to come down in a few days so here's a screen grab to keep my blog relevant:


so, probably the things i want in a dude, in order are:
1- interest in comics, namely batman
2- tattoos
3- nipple piercing
4- skinniness

that's pretty much all i need. so i wrote a witty response which is too embarrasing to share here. you should also know that my fakeout email address which i use for answering craigslist personal ads and signing up for newsletters and junk like that is arkham_asylum_info. That's the insane asylum in Gotham for those of you who don't know and suck. So wouldn't you think this guy would fall in love with me based on that alone? Well he didn't and never responded so i just wrote this:

wow, i thought we were gonna totally fall in love, get married, have babies, get divorced, have an ugly custody battle, and ultimately take a lesson from the bible and cut the babies in half.

guess not. punk.