Jewish

whoa. I'm such a jew. I just sat down at my computer and had a vague sense of guilt and i couldn't really place why. As you may or may not know, Judaism is a religion and a culture that thrives on the guilt of it's followers. Guilt, or more specifically the attempt to avoid feeling guilty, is the reason behind the majority of the decisions i make. It contributes to my sobriety. It makes me call my mom every day. It gets me places on time. It makes me stay friends with people who i think suck and haven't seen in 5 years. It keeps me honest in relationships. It makes me not steal things even though i really want to and it would be so easy.
Anyway, I had a really deep sense of guilt just now and i realized why, and it's ridiculous:
My roommate and best bud Pat Driscoll gave me a wonderful Channukah surprise. Our apartment has gotten very messy over the past several weeks, and it's 90% my fault. The last time i really scrubbed the joint down was when a boy i liked was coming over and i didn't want him to know what a slob i was. save that shit for the honeymoon. Anyway, if the cleanliness of the apartment is directly proportional to the amount of time boys come over to visit me here's a little equation: I have known for certain that i'm not pregnant the last two months (2). I also haven't had a real nice bikini wax in 6 weeks (6). So, i'm no scientist, but i think that means on a scale of 1-10 the apartment was at a solid 12 in messiness.
Well, i got home this morning and it was spotless, truly sparkling*! Pat cleaned the whole apartment and it looks like an effin hotel. It's beautiful.
I was so thankful and all he asked in return was for me to update my blog, which i've really let slip.
So, the guilt came when i realized i had been home for two hours and hadn't done that yet. Guilt officially relieved.

I love you pat.

*that asterisk was just to denote real sparkle. sparkly. ya know?