I think it's safe to say that this blog has really taken off. Readership has grown exponentially on a weekly basis. Commenting has reached an all-time high. Just yesterday someone stopped me on the subway and whispered, "love your work."
But that doesn't mean i'll forget where i came from. I want to take this opportunity to recognize some new readers:
Tobly: i don't think i'll ever be the same after seeing that two-dildoed pogo stick in your apartment that you "only used once." Also, thanks for being more inappropriate than i am; you make me look good. Sweet haircut. I also like that you have a jansport, it's very early 90s and functional. I can appreciate that. Also, you're from texas which brings me to...
Balls: who is also from texas. Balls, i can't believe you forgot about your nickname. I really like you a lot. You have so much facial hair and i'm constantly wondering what you look like under there. I bet you're really handsome. I bet i'd want to sleep with you if i could see you. Remember the day we met we shared some twizzlers? I'm really happy you love candy even more than i do. I'm glad i was with you the first time you went swimming in the ocean. i hope we never go so long without speaking that you feel overwhelmed when i call and don't pick up and then feel bad and call me every day until the election.
anyone else reading that hasn't gotten a shout out?
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