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Steve (and later Jerome) tipped me off to the thing you can download to make your twitter feed look like an excel grid. What a great and nerdy idea! I love great nerds! So of course I wanted to find out who invented this and if he was sexy and if I wanted to sleep with him. What are the chances that this nerd is a hot nerd? Here he is, Elliott Kember, a very cute nerd from England. Elliott, I totally have it bad for you now. Thanks for being the best kind of nerd. A nerd I would fuck for shallow reasons.

Two in one day!

Wow. Somebody grew some balls. Well like one ball. I am too scared to actually open the blogger window and type a blog entry into it. But I wrote this in a word doc and will quickly paste it into blogger while no one is looking. Muhahaha!

So, yesterday I went to the vending machine, which is kind of a fat kid move, but that’s not the point of this story. I bought a bag of pretzels and it got stuck. Stuck! In a vending machine! And all I could think was “aren’t we past this kind of thing? As a society? I mean, technologically?” It all just felt very early 90s to me. I feel like this kind of shit shouldn’t happen anymore, right? So, obviously, I just bought two bags of pretzels. And ate them both. Because I’m kind of a fat kid…

A very smart idea, from me, blanket

I have a really good invention and need some kind of scientist or nerd to help with the actual fabrication/programming. I want to make a “filter” that you can engage on your work computer so that when you visit websites like gmail, facebook, blogs, perezhilton etc. the content feeds through this filter and appears on your screen and looks like Outlook. So all the pictures and colors and stuff are taken out but you can read your gmail or your favorite blog and look like you’re doing work. Genuis! I know what you’re thinking. Why would you put this great idea on the internet for anyone to steal? The truth is I just want this product to be invented so I can use it at my shitty job. And then I won’t have to do any of the work in terms of startup, but later I can be like “look! This was my idea! Where’s my cut?!” and the proof that it was my idea is this very blog entry. You’re witnessing history right now.

A new comic! woot!

Click the sucka to enlarge!