Strange food habits and where i picked them up

Remember when Donna Martin admits to liking popcorn on her ice cream? Consider this blog entry my that.

- Sugar, instead of syrup, on pancakes and waffles. This (delicious) idea came about in the summer of 1993 in sleepaway camp. The Scouts (my bunk that year) were notorious for having food fights. Whenever we started a food fight we would lose privileges to certain foods. Syrup, in all it's stickiness, was one of the first to go. So, we replaced it with straight sugar and I've never looked back.

- Eating spaghetti sauce, cold, right of of the jar with a spoon. This is something i started doing in college when i had gazpacho for the first time, because it's basically the same thing right?

- Another college treat is something my good buddy Sarah calls doody. We didn't have ovens or anything so we would buy brownie mix and just mix water in until it was a doody consistency. I don't still do this, but it was effing good.

- Another delicious snack I have given up involves rolling 3 marshmallows in a fruit roll up and then twisting the ends. This creation never received a name, unfortunately. I learned this one from kids i was babysitting in probably like 1997 or so.

- Have you ever had a cream cheese bagel with doritos smashed in it? Well, you should, because it's delicious. I used to eat these when i worked at Baja. Every high school kid in long beach eats them. You don't even have to buy the bag of doritos you just order them on the actual bagel.

- Tomatoes with ketchup. redundant? yes! pretty tasty? indeed! This was another camp thing. I don't remember how it started. Probably some diet my whole bunk was on one year or something.

I can't think of any more...
byezies!

This is it.

Last week Brandon and I ran into a homeless guy i've made out with.
This is my life.

psychoanalyze away

At this suckfest of a job I am often on the phone, on hold. During this time I write things down absent-mindedly. Here are some highlights from the notepad next to my phone:

“Special themes in literature:
- frogs talking
- really anything that doesn’t talk, talking
- even babies. But really young ones.”


“Here I come Pig” and then a drawing of mickey mouse.

“sunny-side down eggs. Sad.”

“Momentarily. Momentarily. Momentarily. Momentarily. Momentarily. Momentarily. Momentarily. Momentarily. Momentarily. Momentarily. Momentarily. Momentarily. Momentarily. Momentarily. Momentarily.”

“This is effed.”

“is this region mountainous?”

more things that happened today

this is basically twittering right? should i twitter?

1- got an email entitled "cake." and then it was about how someone at work wanted cake, not that there was cake to be had. thanks a lot for that fake out (cake out).

2- i told my boss he was like uncle scrooge from duck tales except instead of the smell of money waking him up it's the sound of envelopes being opened with a letter opener. he kind of laughed.

Some things that have happened today already:

1- dropped id card and 6 dollars in toilet at work. retreived it.

2- got a bluberry muffin in which the ratio of blueberries to muffin was incredibly unsatisfactory. i'm sorry, i thought i ordered a blueberry muffin not fucking baked blueberries with an occassional bite of pastry.

mergh update mergh

Very quick:
still at shity job. working on getting outta here.but wn't blog about all that because i've learned from the mistakes of my friends.
got awesome new aladdin-style pants that i will wear all summer.
told pat i'm moving out in the fall. it was sad. I love him very much.
working on lots o comics. more to come. also thinking of making a comics and cakes only website. because some people might just want to read comics and see some super kick cakes, but not read about farts and sex.

Tweet

Steve (and later Jerome) tipped me off to the thing you can download to make your twitter feed look like an excel grid. What a great and nerdy idea! I love great nerds! So of course I wanted to find out who invented this and if he was sexy and if I wanted to sleep with him. What are the chances that this nerd is a hot nerd? Here he is, Elliott Kember, a very cute nerd from England. Elliott, I totally have it bad for you now. Thanks for being the best kind of nerd. A nerd I would fuck for shallow reasons.

Two in one day!

Wow. Somebody grew some balls. Well like one ball. I am too scared to actually open the blogger window and type a blog entry into it. But I wrote this in a word doc and will quickly paste it into blogger while no one is looking. Muhahaha!

So, yesterday I went to the vending machine, which is kind of a fat kid move, but that’s not the point of this story. I bought a bag of pretzels and it got stuck. Stuck! In a vending machine! And all I could think was “aren’t we past this kind of thing? As a society? I mean, technologically?” It all just felt very early 90s to me. I feel like this kind of shit shouldn’t happen anymore, right? So, obviously, I just bought two bags of pretzels. And ate them both. Because I’m kind of a fat kid…

A very smart idea, from me, blanket

I have a really good invention and need some kind of scientist or nerd to help with the actual fabrication/programming. I want to make a “filter” that you can engage on your work computer so that when you visit websites like gmail, facebook, blogs, perezhilton etc. the content feeds through this filter and appears on your screen and looks like Outlook. So all the pictures and colors and stuff are taken out but you can read your gmail or your favorite blog and look like you’re doing work. Genuis! I know what you’re thinking. Why would you put this great idea on the internet for anyone to steal? The truth is I just want this product to be invented so I can use it at my shitty job. And then I won’t have to do any of the work in terms of startup, but later I can be like “look! This was my idea! Where’s my cut?!” and the proof that it was my idea is this very blog entry. You’re witnessing history right now.

A new comic! woot!

Click the sucka to enlarge!

Signs of (my) times

I feel like you know you have a shitty job when you use a letter opener at work. Like a lot. And not for fan mail.

Funny things Pat said during scenes of fraternity hazing on Greek last night

(from memory because he threw out the pizza box that i took notes on)

"There is nothing i want to be a part of badly enough that i would like, eat something gross."

"Oh sit on this block of ice." (which didn't happen on the show. He just thinks that's hazing.)

"I don't need friends that make me puke and then lick the puke. excuse me."

"Touching dude's dicks? that's ok. I would do that. Dick skin is like face skin."

update on which American Idols I'd eff

No on Von Smith. Not even oral. sorry. Even though he managed to not break into hives tonight for the first time ever.

and forgive my not being able to tell, but i have a history if this: is he gay?

Season 8 American Idol contestants I would fuck and one i surprisingly wouldn't

would totes eff:
Kris Allen
kai kalama
matt giraud

Would not eff:
Adam Lambert

On the fence (maybe we just have oral with):
von smith

here's something funny.

I wrote myself an email with a list of goals several months ago. here's what was on it:
- Read more comics
- write more comics
- get job in comics
- be mysterious
- stop being the kind of person that writes herself "goals" emails
- be good sister
- skateboard to train; stop taking bus
- get better at embroidery and cross stitch
- pay bills on time
- read new yorker but not on train
- make comic-reading friends
- make everyone a birthday cake
- put super-kick music on ipod
- be happy and not crabby
- tivo forensic files and north mission road and body of evidence because you love those
- eat more spirulina
- make straight edge friends that aren't weird and straight-edgy
- call your aunt
- wash sheets more


How am i doing?